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Post by Remus Lupin on Aug 3, 2010 0:06:34 GMT -6
 Counting all different ideas drifting away. Past and present -- they don't matter now the future's sorted out. Think it's not what you say, what you say is way too complicated
Until June. When Evie had found out that Sirius had been at Hogwarts the same time Remus was teaching, she was insistent for facts. Every two days he got a longer letter with poorly disguised threats and guilt trips, but he actually didn’t have Sirius with him. Sirius had disappeared that night so widely reported on now, supposedly long gone by the time he transformed back. Though by the time Mid-August rolled around, he was a little surprised he hadn’t heard from Sirius either. Remus really didn’t have the confidence to let the guilt over the fact he was the reason Sirius was still on the run win. It would be all too easy to convince himself that his friend had decided it was better to live in the wild than with his once best friend that let Peter get away.
Remus threw another one of Evie’s letters into the fire and poured himself a cup of day old tea, pacing and only glancing at the newspaper on the table. He should probably just stay away, Sirius had managed a year out in the wild and was doing fine, at least hadn’t been captured yet according to the Prophet. Remus just had never been the type to ignore what he should do but recognized that there were things he had to do; it’s how he found himself friends with Sirius in the first place, and now it’s how he found himself leaving the tiny kitchen with a determination he didn’t quite recognize.
The Marauders had drawn up a map, a map that is now in Harry’s possession where it rightfully belongs, that detailed everything about Hogwarts and the majority of the Hogsmeade area. They had discovered so many passageways and nearby caves that they were pretty sure hadn’t been used in at least a century if not from the time of the founders in some cases. By their sixth year, they didn’t really need the map; all four of them had it ingrained into their memory and could walk the familiar steps that would never be forgotten. Remus looked around his front yard and apparated to the tiny village outside of Hogwarts’ gates.
If the Ministry was smart, they would have a tail on him, and the knowledge did make Remus particularly paranoid, eyes darting around the street for anyone that might take too much of an interest in him. There were caves just outside of town, looking down on the now empty castle, and Remus almost hoped Sirius wouldn’t make such an obvious choice of a hideout. Well, obvious to the four boys that used to run the halls laughing and pranking any person or object that moved. He was slightly breathless as he came up to the cave opening, a fire flickering against the wall.
Deciding it was probably best not to startle Sirius, or the massive hippogriff he had escaped on, Remus cleared his throat at the mouth of the cave causing it to echo. “Padfoot? It’s me.” He hadn’t said that name since he explained to Harry the childish nicknames they all used to call each other. Remus himself hadn’t been called ‘Moony’ for almost thirteen years, something he’d never admit to missing but missed terribly. Using those nicknames though offered the chance to call out to Sirius without letting anyone but him know that he was looking for Sirius Black. He probably should wait for some sort of acknowledgement, but walked into the cave.
The hippogriff looked irritated at the intruder, rustling his feathers slightly until he decided to lay his head back down. Remus looked around the small camp Sirius had set up for himself. “Quaint.” It took a lot of effort to control the wince; he had once been able to make a small joke to Sirius like that and earn a bark of laughter, but it didn’t seem very appropriate now. “Sirius, what are you doing here?” Sirius still looked like the escaped criminal, half starved and a complete mess, that he had seen almost two months ago.Date: August 16, 1994
Tag: Sirius Black
Words: 823 Words
Lyrics: 1901 - Phoenix
Notes: Nice place. |
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Post by Sirius Black on Aug 3, 2010 23:11:26 GMT -6
LIVING IN FANTASY
BUT IT'S WAY TOO FAR
BUT THIS KIND OF LONELINESS IS WAY TOO HARD
It was cold in the caves, even in mid-August, and it was shortly after nightfall that he found it necessary to strike up a fire. Sirius had fled to the mountains outside of Hogsmeade shortly after the confrontation with Pettigrew at the end of June. It wasn't an ideal living situation, but there was nowhere he could go, no one he could trust. Well, there was Remus, but he was still unsure where to find him, and it was sort of difficult to walk in and request an owl at the post office when you were a convicted criminal. Harry had written him recently, though... he should have borrowed Hedwig to send a letter to Remus or Dumbledore... or maybe Evie.
Sirius had discovered her in Hogsmeade shortly after Halloween, after he'd settled himself in the cave he still occupied. He would transform and then travel into the village, usually scrounging for food but oftentimes he'd just people watch, bored out of his mind. The first time he saw her he'd thought he was seeing things... she looked so different. Not that he was one to talk; he used to be young and handsome, arrogantly so, but now he avoided his reflection as general rule. Evelyn Teague - Wenlock, he reminded himself - had been one of his closest friends at Hogwarts, on a different level that James and Remus had been. Like James, they had bonded from the moment they'd first met during his first year, shortly after the Sorting ceremony.
She looked different and yet the same. He almost hadn't recognized her without Joan and Cherie, those bloody combat boots she'd worn everywhere back during their schooldays. Evie looked good, and blimey, did she have a crew! Before Azkaban he'd been to the wedding between her and Professor Wenlock - he still found that a bit dodgy, even though he'd given them both his blessing over a decade ago - and was even named godfather to her first child, Gwendolyn, who was born just a few months before his second and only other godchild, Harry Potter. (He wondered if Harry knew of this relation... probably not.) After watching her for the past year, he'd discovered that Evelyn Wenlock now had three children, and Gwennie was now a miniature version of her mother, disturbingly similar to Evie in appearance as Harry was to James. The littler ones, Jon and Dylan, seemed very similar to their father, although Sirius sensed a little more of Evie's spirit in the littlest.
Sirius missed his friend, the girl who called him Brawd and argued with him about punk music and wrestled with him whenever he'd tick her off considerably. He wondered if she missed him, if she thought he was innocent or if she thought he really had been a Death Eater... Remus had. He didn't want to blame them, but it was hard considering how well they'd known each other. One day he'd followed her around and he'd notice her pause next to a lamp post, onto which had been attached a flyer notifying the residents that Sirius Black was loose and suspected to be in the area. Her large brown eyes had fixed upon his picture and he'd watched something cross over her features, a sadness that he couldn't really interpret without knowing if she missed who he once was or what he might have been. He wondered how she'd felt with the Dementors prowling the streets near the end there, if her children had suffered... if her husband had suffered. Edward Wenlock had enough dark thoughts in his head without them being brought to light by Dementors. Sirius was lucky that while in his dog form he didn't feel their effect as strongly. It was how he had managed to escape Azkaban with any semblance of sanity.
There was a sudden sound, like someone clearing their throat near the mouth of the cave and Sirius silently leapt to his feet. “Padfoot? It’s me.” He was instantly filled with the panicked notion that Remus had found him and was acting as bait for the aurors, coming to fetch him to take back to Azkaban. The thought passed quickly as 1) despite everything, he now knew he could trust his friend and 2) aurors wouldn't trust a werewolf, although they might grow desperate if they were pushed any harder to find him. Buckbeak lifted his head from where he'd been lounging near the fire and rustled his wings in irritation upon catching sight of Remus. Sirius had hoped he would see his friend soon, although their parting had been a rather odd when last they'd met. Luckily there had been no lasting damage to either of them during what James had often called a 'dog fight.' Remus bowed to Buckbeak so that he could enter without being mauled and the hippogriff appraised him momentarily before laying his feathered head back down onto the dusty cave floor. Remus leveled his gaze to Sirius as he ruffled the bird's crown feathers affectionately before glancing about the dark and damp cave.
"Quaint." Sirius snorted, drawing Remus' attention back to him. “Sirius, what are you doing here?” Sirius drew the brown coat he'd stolen from the village tighter around his thin body, feeling self-conscious. "Just enjoying the lovely evening, Moony, and yourself? Sirius could tell that Remus thought it idiotic for him to live this way, but it was his fate, really. There was nowhere else he could go where the Ministry couldn't find him, and he wanted to look after Harry. Besides, Remus was the only person living outside of Hogwarts that knew he was innocent, and until recently, he hadn't known where to find him.
{date} August 16, 1994
{tag} Remus Lupin
{lyrics} "Laugh, I Nearly Died" - The Rolling Stones
{words} Who knows?
{notes} Thanks for the nod to the lyrics!
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Post by Remus Lupin on Aug 6, 2010 3:28:57 GMT -6
Counting all different ideas drifting away. Past and present -- they don't matter now the future's sorted out. Think it's not what you say, what you say is way too complicated Moony. He was ‘Moony’ once more. It was childish and ridiculous, leading to some even more ridiculous rumors on how he got the nickname back in school. Thankfully, no one but the Marauders knew or guessed the real reason behind his nickname. It always gave him a little thrill to have secret nicknames that had confused the rest of the school, made them seem like the tightly bonded group they had been. Maybe never were; Peter had fooled them all with his constant chatter about comic books or food. He had always seemed like the one that needed protected but in the end he was the most dangerous of them all.
Remus took a seat on a rock, rearranging his legs awkwardly to fit his frame better. The hippogriff hadn’t been something he considered until now as a factor, but he supposed that there were some bonuses about living in the middle of nowhere. He had been frowning at the beast when Sirius caught his attention by awkwardly messing with his coat. Sirius had always been a ‘balls to the wall’ kind of guy and if Remus didn’t know better, he would say the move was self conscious. It was a little humbling and slightly terrifying to see a man so cock sure being so awkward even though nothing in his voice or speech made this evident. “I really love what you did with the place. Caves are really over looked when shopping for a home. Low rent and all.”
He had once been an awkward teenager, made even more awkward with his affliction, and used to rub the back of his neck when his biggest worry had been a girl he fancied. “Before we discuss drapery, that wasn’t what I meant. I mean, why are you here? I haven’t moved in thirteen years, it’s not really easy to find a place with enough space for a werewolf, you know?” Remus shrugged and looked all around the cave, not quite able to actually look at Sirius. The sudden insecurity that seemed to be in Sirius’ movements made Remus feel even more awkward than he had been in a very long time; James and Sirius were always the source of his confidence as the two overflowed with it. With James gone and Sirius spending twelve years in Azkaban, seemingly left… different, Remus found his own insecurity rearing an ugly head.
“I wasn’t followed. I mean… I kept an eye out you know.” That part was a little random and he hadn’t been quite sure as to why it came out his mouth when he was supposed to be asking Sirius if he wanted to come and stay with him because Sirius hadn’t figured out the unspoken invitation previously. He supposed he said it to reassure Sirius that he did value his safety and the need for him to remain free until they could turn Peter into the authorities and clear his name. “But, um, that’s not why I’m here either.” He actually wrung his hands as he spoke, a gesture he thought only happened in poorly written novels and never something an actual person did. “This place is kinda horrible and well, my place isn’t really much better but it’s got small things like plumbing. No offense, mate, but you could really do with a shower and maybe a shave and a meal. Or eight.” Sirius had always been lean, but never looked so terribly thin before.
It was Remus’ fault that Sirius was still on the run. Remus had actually thought that Sirius could betray James and Lily and denied any suggestion that connected him to the man for such a long time. “But, um, well, I have all of those things. So if you want, we can figure things out. You could hide out at my place, you know?” Remus shrugged and sighed at himself. When Sirius had run from his family, he went to James. When he escaped Azkaban he ran to Hogsmeade, which had him going back to Hogwarts and indirectly Evelyn Wenlock. Remus had never been someone Sirius ran to.
Remus wondered vaguely if he knew how close he was to Evie; the two had been one in the same back during their school days and it was apparent in her letters that she didn’t give a damn about what Sirius had done as long as he was safe. Last year, when Remus had taught at Hogwarts, he had actually struck up a decent friendship with Edward Wenlock. They shared the post in common though several years apart, as well as brief moments of history when he was the man’s student and friends, or - more appropriately - friendly housemates, with his wife. It was surprisingly easy to get along with Edward and he had reconnected a bit with Evie through him, at least enough to know some of the more recent events in the Wenlock home and where it was located.Date: August 16, 1994
Tag: Sirius Black
Words: 826 Words
Lyrics: 1901 - Phoenix
Notes: Nice place. |
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Post by Sirius Black on Aug 6, 2010 22:06:41 GMT -6
LIVING IN FANTASY
BUT IT'S WAY TOO FAR
BUT THIS KIND OF LONELINESS IS WAY TOO HARD
Sirius was surprised to learn that Remus hadn’t moved in the past thirteen years. He’d ruled out going to visit Remus at his home in case the Ministry had an eye on him, and as much as he wanted to stay out of Azkaban, he really didn’t want to haul his friends along with him. As if reading his thoughts, Remus assured him that he hadn’t been followed, and Sirius nodded glumly. It was a relief to know that Moony thought about these things, but then again he’d always been the clever one. Sirius walked over to Buckbeak, who’d grown rather accustomed to his presence to where he didn’t need to bow every time he approached, although Buckbeak was a lot less surly whenever he did. Sirius laid a hand on top of the bird’s head and stroked it absentmindedly as Remus did something that was neither unexpected nor unwelcome – he invited Sirius to stay with him.
“No offense, mate, but you could really do with a shower and maybe a shave and a meal. Or eight.” A tiny smile tugged on the corner of his lips, but Sirius remained silent. This seemed to disturb Remus, who was more accustomed to the chattier boy he’d once been, but twelve years of solitude had changed his social habits drastically. It was part of the reason Sirius was inclined to refuse Remus’ offer, other than the fact that he wished to keep him safe. “You can hide at my place, you know?”
Sirius inhaled quietly, mulling over what would be the best response, finally releasing his breath and saying, “I can’t.”
“Why not?” was Remus’ immediate response, and while he’d made a good argument, Sirius had one better.
“Because I’m the most wanted man in Britain. Not just the wizarding world, either; the Muggle police are out for me too. It’s no secret that we used to be friends, Remus, and after what happened in June I don’t expect anyone’s suspicions have lifted. I’m glad that you know that I am innocent and that I can call you my friend once again, but I’d like to do so without endangering you. Besides, if there’s not enough room in your place for a werewolf, how will you find room for a hippogriff and a mangy old dog?” Buckbeak bristled beside him, opening his beak to release what could only be interpreted as a grateful coo. Sirius patted the bird’s head, knowing that there was no way he would abandon Buckbeak to leave him to a similar fate. “Wouldn’t your neighbors grow suspicious if you suddenly had a roommate who kept a hippogriff as a pet? I’m not quite sure, but I think Hagrid’s one of the few who can get away with that.” Hippogriffs were classified as XXX, which meant they were not acceptable to keep as pets, and Buckbeak was hardly domestic. “I’m not quite sure a polyjuice potion would work either… I’ve considered that.”
Truthfully, Remus and Sirius could probably find away to keep his identity hidden, even make it to where no one was aware of his presence at Remus’ house, but Sirius felt like it was asking too much of his dear friend. He just didn’t see how it would work out.
{date} August 16, 1994
{tag} Remus Lupin
{lyrics} "Laugh, I Nearly Died" - The Rolling Stones
{words} Who knows?
{notes} New/old face! using this pic until I can find a more appropriate one...
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Post by Remus Lupin on Aug 6, 2010 23:01:14 GMT -6
Counting all different ideas drifting away. Past and present -- they don't matter now the future's sorted out. Think it's not what you say, what you say is way too complicated Remus hadn’t expected Sirius to agree immediately, he just wouldn’t. If he did, that would just make Remus’ life easy and Sirius had never let him have an easy life. The man in front of him was too different than the one he had known; the Sirius he had known he could make a joke about all of this, but Remus had a feeling if he even hinted to this, Sirius would back away entirely. So he countered the ”I can’t” quickly with a “why not?” He wasn’t offended by the rejection, but he wanted a damn good reason to back off like Sirius seemed to want him to.
“Because I’m the most wanted man in Britain.” That wasn’t a good enough reason. It was kind of boring even, but if Sirius needed to have a little speech about the dangers and the completely illogical reasons for Remus to play host, than he would let him. Remus had come without much thought, knew where Sirius would be and decided he was tired of waiting. Even with a spur of the moment decision in coming didn’t mean Remus wasn’t perfectly aware of the reasons not to do it. The roles were uncomfortably reversed; Remus was normally the one in need of coercing to break about a hundred rules by Sirius. Padfoot. Azkaban was a horrific place.
“Are you quite finished?” He had waited politely as he could for Sirius to finish before standing and crossing his arms over his chest. “I’m a known werewolf and a little more dangerous than you, hate to break it to you. I know how often you find yourself to be superior, but this time I win. ‘The most wanted man in Britian’, just can’t settle for anything less.” Remus wasn’t sure if that’d be acceptable with whatever remained of his friendship with Sirius, but this was ridiculous. “I know you’ve gotten used to your animagus form as a method of protection, but the original reason was for you to go out and be with a werewolf during the full moon. Have you forgotten this ridiculous and foolish idea?” Remus gestured wildly toward Sirius, startling slightly when the hippogriff looked like if it didn’t inconvenience him to get up he would attack Remus.
The hippogriff settled back into his spot and Remus kept his voice a little calmer than he wanted to. “I think I can make sure you have a roof over your head. The spells on the forest by my place are enough to keep me in that I think Muckleak or whatever his name is can get some exercise. You’ll probably have to play my dog if my neighbor that lives at least three hundred meters away comes around.” Remus paced slightly, staying in the vision of the hippogriff so he wouldn’t anger or upset it. “It won’t be easy, but we have always done better when we stuck together.”
That last year of the war had been horrible, so many found or believed dead that it was impossible to make it to every funeral. The Marauder’s had split up when James and Lily had to go into hiding; Remus and Sirius both thinking the other was the spy that had been rumored to have infiltrated the Order of the Phoenix. It was one of the first things that they had apologized for back in June, but it just proved how untrusting their previous friendship had resulted. “We can figure it out, always could. Just… I knew you’d be here. Probably the Shrieking Shack if your cover is blown until you can think of somewhere else and better for the oversized bird. So you can keep saying ‘no’, but you are just wasting a lot of time. We have to think about how to keep you safe at my place and how to get the two of you there without anyone noticing.”Date: August 16, 1994
Tag: Sirius Black
Words: 649 Words
Lyrics: 1901 - Phoenix
Notes: Nice place. |
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Post by Sirius Black on Aug 22, 2010 16:57:58 GMT -6
LIVING IN FANTASY
BUT IT'S WAY TOO FAR
BUT THIS KIND OF LONELINESS IS WAY TOO HARD
“Are you quite finished?”
Sirius paused briefly before nodding with a barely restrained sigh. He and James had been well-reputed for being stubborn fools, but Remus Lupin had them beat tenfold. “I’m a known werewolf and a little more dangerous than you, hate to break it to you. I know how often you find yourself to be superior, but this time I win. ” Sirius couldn’t help but smile at how childish this sounded, even if it were true. He remained composed for the rest of Remus’ speech. “I know you’ve gotten used to your animagus form as a method of protection, but the original reason was for you to go out and be with a werewolf during the full moon. Have you forgotten this ridiculous and foolish idea?”
Sirius closed his eyes, reminding himself why he couldn’t go. “Remus…”
“I think I can make sure you have a roof over your head. The spells on the forest by my place are enough to keep me in that I think Muckleak or whatever his name is can get some exercise. You’ll probably have to play my dog if my neighbor that lives at least three hundred meters away comes around.” Remus was pacing, but he was smart enough to keep his eye on Buckbeak so that he didn’t pop out of his range of vision and jump back in suddenly. It was never wise to startle a hippogriff, much less insult it. “It won’t be easy, but we have always done better when we stuck together.”
A sad smile graced Sirius’ features and he nodded. “Yeah, we have.” He thought of James and Lily and how differently things might have gone if he’d not agreed to let Peter be their secret keeper, if they’d all stayed together instead of splitting apart. But Sirius had been afraid that Voldemort had something on Remus, that perhaps he was the spy despite himself. It was so foolish of him, of them all, but it was so hard to see it at the time. Remus continued speaking, but Sirius, who had been so resolved to turn him down before and had done so quite firmly, needed to hear no more. “Yes.” His voice was hoarse and weak, and Sirius cleared his throat. “Yes. You’re right. I usually regret it when I don’t listen to you, don’t I?”
His cheeks were damp with tears and Sirius bowed his head, not wanting his friend to see him cry, but Remus had already stepped forward and clapped his hands to his back in a brotherly hug. Buckbeak squawked nearby and the two pulled apart, looking over at him before Sirius sniffed and tried to grin. “Not afraid of riding a Hippogriff, are you? ‘Cause I’ve got to tell you, his bum’s too big for side-along apparition.” It wasn’t a true insult, but Buckbeak squawked again, this time less curiously and more as a warning. “What, it’s true!” He turned back to Remus and heaved a sigh. “Well, let me just gather my things.” Sirius walked over to the fire and kicked some dirt over it to put it out before making a clicking noise with his mouth that signaled for Buckbeak to stand. The hippogriff hopped up and Sirius turned to Remus with a worried brow. “I’m a bit crazy now, you know.”
Remus just smiled and shook his head. “Is that really a big change?”
That made him laugh, genuinely laugh, for the first time since Harry had set him free. “No, I suppose it’s not.”
{date} August 16, 1994
{tag} Remus Lupin
{lyrics} "Laugh, I Nearly Died" - The Rolling Stones
{words} Who knows?
{notes} Hope you don't mind the light godmod, friend. If so I'll fix it. Does this make a good enough ending for you?
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